Engedi

January 15th, 2009 Tim Posted in SevenLakes Info |

(by Nancy) CrossPoint Community Church is in a life lesson series called Red Hot Monogamy. The initial Sunday of the series Pastor Dan Hauser told us to listen primarily for our own roles: in my case, being a wife.  Last Sunday Tim and I sent the kids off for Jammin’ Hour, enjoyed a song by Joey and the band, cuddled up and settled in for a “date”.  Dan talked about God’s plan for men and women, stressing that men are wired to be primarily outwardly focused, engaged in the world of providing, performing and protecting their families (or future families) while women are wired to be primarily inwardly focused, engaged in the home of caring, closeness and connectedness.

It brought two memories to mind. One from the first day of our marriage and one from the very recent past. Tim and I separately wrote our own wedding vows. Mine was an eclectic mix of modern Maslow and traditional Christian.  Tim’s was a heartfelt mix of traditional vows and joyous improvisation.  One phrase from his vows repeated in my mind last Sunday. He vowed to make our marriage “a haven from the sometimes hostile world we live in.” It occured to me on Sunday that this is a big part of my role.

Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church recently said that for a wife a home is a place but for a husband a home is a wife. He also encouraged married couples to provide “En Gedi” [”Engedi” in the English Standard Version]: places and times of refreshing for their marriage. The term and concept comes from the Song of Solomon 1:14 and 7:11-12. This certainly includes dates and vacations but should most often be a daily place of reconnection. Driscoll and his wife have a small living room off their bedroom where their 5 children are not allowed to go that is strictly for “En Gedi” for them.

Over Christmas vacation I mentioned this to Tim and he took it upon himself to carry an extra loveseat and table downstairs from our game room to our bedroom. So now we have our own Engedi to talk and cuddle and pray, away from the stresses of work and house and children.

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death. (Song of Solomon 8:6a ESV)

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.  (Song of Solomon 8:7 ESV)

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:10-11 NIV)