Kitchen Nightmares

November 7th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) My family and I like to watch the TV show Kitchen Nightmares.  In case you’ve never seen it, the concept is that Chef Gordon Ramsey (of “Hell’s Kitchen” fame) is asked to help a struggling restaurant. The word “nightmare” is usually not an exaggeration: the food is terrible, the owners and cooks and managers and waiters are lazy and fighting, debt is mounting… Chef Ramsey comes in, tries the food (I think he stays slim because he only eats more than one bite when the food is good) and asks the owners and staff what they think the problem is. He gives them advice, spruces the place up a little, adds a few special menu items and they have a revamped dinner service. Things do not go much better.

So, he digs deeper, much deeper. He finds the rotten lettuce, the lazy chef, the drunken manager, the stealing cook. After they throw out the canned or tainted food, he sets the staff and owners to do a thorough cleaning. During this, he tours the area to see what the surrounding culture is like, often finding farm-fresh produce or fresh-caught fish or clientele preferences that were completely ignored by the restaurant owners/managers.

He returns, shows them how to reach the culture and gives them a passion for local food and people. His staff redoes the decor to match the new theme. Chef Ramsey often facilitates them working out their teamwork problems.

Now, Chef Ramsey is certainly not Jesus. I doubt Jesus used profanity as regularly as he does and he certainly has pride issues. But I do see parallels in how Ramsey helps the restaurant and how Christ exposes and heals sin in our lives. I am reminded of the Chronicles of Narnia story in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Eustace’s sinful heart causes him to become a dragon. He realizes his sin and laments his scales. He tries to scratch them off himself. Many fall around him but, after each attempt, he looks at his reflection in the lake and there is no visible change. Then Aslan, the Christ figure, comes to him and makes a deep and painful cut with his claw and tears off the old dragonish skin, leaving new, raw human skin.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. (Psalm 34:8-9 NIV)

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11 NIV)

because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. (Hebrews 12:6 NIV)

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Where do you want to go today?

October 30th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) Where do you want to go today? That was the theme of the first CrossPoint life lesson Tim and I ever heard, on January 7, 2007.  It started with a somewhat selfish question and ended with a clear look at the sacrificial death of Christ on the cross: “If you want to launch forward to the next steps with God, it all starts by taking a step back, looking at the cross and letting it make you go “Wow!”‘

We should never “get over” the cross. Even in Revelation, where God is busy pouring out his wrath, we see Jesus as the Lamb that was slain [Rev 5:5-14] as well as the conquering King of Kings [Rev 19:11-16].

The more I look to Jesus, the more I realize how desperately I need Him.

Despite this previous blog entry, I still struggle with the proper place of food in my life. I recently heard a women’s conference talk on gluttony where the speaker said something like “it is humbling to think that I can’t even eat without sinning, apart from the grace of Christ, the grace of Christ.”

We live in a consumer culture. Advertising is built on the concept of getting people to feel a need and then fill that need with your product. Even church works that way sometimes. We tell people that in Jesus there is forgiveness, freedom, peace, joy. That is all true and good and Christ brings release to guilt-ridden people. But what if we’re feeling pretty good? What if we perceive that culture apart from God offers more than the Bible or youth group or Christian community? Conviction of sin, including pride of not needing God, and confession and walking closer to Him are very important, but is our need to be our focus 100% of the time? Are we only to go to God (or church) when we feel like we need something from Him (or it)? That is making God (or church) our idol for dispensing goodies, rather than worshipping God for who He is.

There may be nothing wrong in enticing non-Christians or “complacent” Christians with “goodies” (both tangible and non-tangible), that’s another blog topic. But what about those of us who already know at least some of the value of a life with Christ (here I go with the consumer metaphors again)?  Galatians 5:1 (NIV) says “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

What do you want to do? How many times a day do we ask ourselves that? How about a new question? How about “in light of God’s love, how can I serve those around me?” I once heard a pastor say that marriage and family is for holiness and happiness, but holiness first. If our whole motivation in life is satisfying ourselves, whether short-term (Homer Simpson drool “bacon cheeseburger!”) or long-term (”I’m gong to do my homework so I can get good grades, get in to a good college, get a good job and make a lot of money”), we have enslaved ourselves again.

“I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law [if we could just “be good”], Christ died for nothing.” (Galatians 3:21 NIV) Meditate on Christ’s death. Why did He come to earth? Why did He die? Sin is that bad but we are that loved.

When we realize that [and I have to re-realize that quite often], then “Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NIV) 

Where do you want to go today? Go to Jesus and the cross, especially if you don’t feel like it.

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Parenting 101

October 4th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) Ever have one of those “aha” moments? I walked in to the garage and realized that the recyclable items that I had asked one of the kids to take to the bin in the garage were piled up and overflowing. A second bin was under the first one and empty. I sighed, remedied the situation and wished in my mind that this child would have, instead of legally doing what I had asked, thought about what would have been really helpful to the family.  And, if he or she needed help to pull out the second bin, asked me or Dad.  I have tried to teach to “use your brain” and be helpful to the family. There was the “aha” moment.  I saw God the Father asking His kids to obey with joy, give cheerfully, love each other; basically help the family and love Him with all our hearts, minds, soul and strength.  I think that’s why so much of Proverbs, Psalms and the gospels talk about the heart and motivation for actions, not simply behavior.

The verses about not “exasperating” or “embittering” one’s children came back.  As parents, we are to follow the way God parents us. God gives us His Word as a gift, God gives commands as a guide, God gives the Holy Spirit as a helper, prayer is a present, fellowship with believers is a joy, mission is a purpose.  We forget that life and joy were created by God.  God’s not a disappointed father who keeps raising the bar out of reach with each success, he’s a Dad who loves to help. He loves us enough to not leave us wallowing in the same old sins, in guilt and condemnation. He doesn’t want to keep telling us over and over not to do X, he wants to take away the motivation to sin and give us the joy of obeying. He tells us that rebellion is not freedom and joy, it is death. Do we believe Him? And if we come to believe Him, then we see our need for Christ’s grace and God’s help. Pride melts away, we admit we need our Father’s help.

 Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar. (Psalm 138:6 NIV)

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William

October 1st, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) After bedtime last night our son came in to our room nearly in tears due to a bothersome obsession that he would have a tic to gaze directly at the sun. He was afraid that he would do so until he was blind. He subsequently brought his telescope and binoculars in for us to hide because he was worried that he would have a compulsion to use those to stare at the sun the next day.

Our ten-year-old son, William, has Tourette Syndrome. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “that’s where you jerk and yell out bad words.” That view, while prevalent in the media, is at times inaccurate (only 30% of people with Tourette’s ever exhibit coprolalia–literally “filth speech”) and is the tip of a very complex and ever-changing iceberg which generally includes co-morbidities including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

As a Hispanic (well, 1/2 Hispanic) and a woman, I am stereotypically emotional. When it comes to William, my emotions run the gamut from selfish frustration and anger at the difficulties of dealing with the symptoms, fierce love and compassion for him over the complications Tourette’s adds to his young life, hatred for and fatigue of the illness, and confusion over whether an inappropriate behavior is deliberate disobedience or  TS/ADHD/OCD.  It’s hard to expect teachers to understand the ever-changing symptoms when we don’t always understand them.

A few years ago, I gave an in-service to the Alief ISD nurses on Tourette’s and related disorders. I described the typically lengthy process of diagnosis: the average age of onset of symptoms is 6 years old and the average length of time from onset of symptoms to diagnosis is 6 years. Even though I am a registered nurse, it took us three years: we took him to an eye doctor at age 3 for repeated blinking and to his pediatrician at age 5 for suspected repeated bouts of croup (we later realized it was a “barking” tic). Like many other parents, we proudly videotaped his end-of Kindergarten musical performance. In his case, this performance was punctuated by repeatedly punching the air with his R arm and a persistent neck twitch. It was after we took this videotape to his pediatrician that Tourette’s was finally diagnosed.

In that nursing in-service I said that after the diagnosis we realized that he was not “bad” (we had at one time wondered if he was without a conscience, due to co-morbid symptoms) or “crazy” (the time he had a tic to lick another student on the school bus was particularly troubling).

William is a smart, funny and charming boy who makes nearly straight A’s. He’s earned a red belt in TaeKwondo and enjoys K’Nex, Star Wars Legos, Mario Cart Wii and the Warriors books. He and some neighborhood friends recently organized an “orange juice stand” (we happened to be out of lemonade) that earned $10 for Hurricane Ike victims.

He can also be very impulsive and irrational and infuriating. It’s part of the neurological brokenness that constitutes Tourette Syndrome, which in itself is part of the universal brokenness that constitutes the world in which we live.

In the October issue of Christianity Today, Bill Mallonee states that “the Good News doesn’t make any sense until you know what the bad news is. The bad news isn’t that we have a few harmless peccadilloes and we screwed up on the way between high school and college or whatever–it’s deeper than that. It’s unrelenting.”

I long for the day when Revelation 22:3 (NIV) will come true: “no longer will there be any curse.”

[Tim and William approved this before I posted it. William tends to be an advocate for Tourette Syndrome education.]

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Intimacy

September 27th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:25 NIV)

I am convinced that we spend our lives searching for someone(s) to know us fully and love us fully.  Millions spend their lives seeking to impress others and be confirmed as worthy: just turn on any sports show or look at any fashion magazine.

The problem is, the only one who knows us completely, namely our perfect and holy God, is not impressed at our attempts to earn His favor.  Isaiah 64:6 says “all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

Even we Christians, who know that we are sinners and deserve death, still strive to impress others and even God, as if Jesus’ death was not enough to prove both our complete depravity and our great worth, magnified by God’s amazing love.

We must repeatedly repent of attitudes of sinful pride: thinking we don’t need the cross or thinking we could add to the righteousness Jesus earned us by his death. Even thinking our sin is too bad for his sacrifice to atone is a form of pride.

That’s why the Christian life is not a decision but a process: “remembering our baptism daily”, confession and repentance, prayer and Scripture: following Jesus, growing in intimacy with Him, not just meeting Him once.  “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

Our hope is to see the face of the One who loved us (to death and beyond) and hear “come, you who are blessed by my Father” (Matthew 25:34), “come and share your master’s happiness” (Matthew 25:21). 

That will be worth more than all the Oscars, Olympic golds and Nobel prizes.

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John, Ike, Jeremiah, and Zeke

September 15th, 2008 Tim

Those are the new “Fab Four” for me!  Here’s my Ike story.

If you live in the Katy/Houston area, you know what just happened.  We were visited by a big ‘ol honkin’ Texas-sized hurricane that’s made most of us find out how much we love air-conditioning, water from the tap, and hopefully each other.  We’ve also learned how arbitrary life can be.  My family escaped Ike with a slightly wobbly fence, a couple of bushes that lean, and a potted plant that tipped over.  A friend who lives just two miles away is living in only half of his house because the rest was flooded by a leaky roof.  Others a few miles away have no home. 

But I really wanted to write about what happened at my house on Saturday morning when the hurricane came.  At about one o’clock, my wife and son were asleep in our master closet, and my daughter was upstairs in her room.  I think the prospect of sleeping in a large closet (for clothes) but small (for sleeping, especially with one’s little brother) was just too weird for her.  I was determined to stay up all night and watch over them.  The winds were starting to pick up, and the electricity had been out for about two hours, and I found my Bible in the dark and started reading (with a reading light!).  I’m doing the Life Journal a lot of us at CrossPoint use to help me read through the Bible in a year.  I had gotten a few days behind, so I figured I could get caught up.

I think this is proof that God has a sense of humor, because my assigneed readings were from Lamentations, Ezekiel, and Revelation.    If you’ve never read those books, Lamentations is just what it sounds like.  It was written by the prophet Jermemiah, and it’s a series of laments about the sinful state of man.  Ezekiel is a very intense book with tons of wild images and God’s pronouncements against sin.  Revelations, written by Jesus’ disciple John, is about the sure return of Jesus.

Then there’s Ike.  Sitting in my living room, then my dining room because Ike was rattling the windows in my living so loud I started to get nervous, I had another reminder that this life really isn’t about me.  But that reminder, that realization, was pressed even deeper into what makes me who I am, and it helped get me through the night.

We live in a world created by a very big God.  He’s a God who absolutely hates sin and punishes it with the shedding of blood.  He’s gracious enough to take the punishment upon Himself in the flesh that was beaten and whipped and put on a cross, on my cross, and yours.  He’s also a God who will certainly return, and all the pain, cancer, heartache, and hurricanes will be forgotten.  In the face of a hurricane, God’s love and mercy and justice rang through the wind and the rain and rattling windows.  It’s about Him, and even though it isn’t always clear how it will work out, God is in control. 

We can praise Him through the storm.  Let’s remember to praise Him after the storm, too. 

What are you hurricane Ike stories?  Please, respond!!

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The perils of power

September 14th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) Let me preface this by saying that I apologize in advance to anyone who is still without electric power (or phone or water) due to Hurricane Ike (’course if you’re reading this on your iPhone I have limited sympathy :)) or if you have sustained damage to your property.  Also, this is a somewhat shameless attempt to solicit blog comments of your Ike stories.

In anticipation of Hurricane Ike, our family and many others spent Friday, September 12th, at home preparing: food, batteries, flashlights, charging up the cell phones and DS’s. We scrubbed bathtubs and filled them with water. We moved potential missiles out of the yards (and, in our case, the quail coop Tim made on Labor Day weekend was transported from the backyard to the garage. In keeping with the neighborliness of the day, the mailman volunteered to help Tim lift it high enough for the roof to clear the fence, while going through the gate). I cleared out an interior “safe room” (the master closet) and we supplied it with sleeping bags, books, radios and flashlights. The laundry was done, the house was vacuumed. Tim bottled a batch of beer he’d been brewing. [In his defense, he had already filled the cars with gas and bought food, water, ice and other supplies.] Even the kids did their part. We had a common goal: get ready for Ike. Rita we ran from, Ike we would meet.

When the power went out Friday night I was upstairs in the office paying bills on the computer. Our son William was in the living room watching the storm coverage on TV, our daughter Deanna was in her room playing with the dog and Tim was in our room trying to sleep. We soon found each other and stayed together for much of the next 21 hours.

During our power outage we talked about and lived the challenges involved in having no electricity, we slept a little, we listened to the radio a little, we read a little, we prayed a little… Saturday morning Tim used the gas stove to scramble the eggs in the fridge and even our vegan daughter ate them without complaint. We talked with our neighbors more than usual. In general we had fewer arguments than usual. On Saturday afternoon William played with friends and they had to be creative since video games were no longer an option. They actually played ball and other outdoor games.  Tim and the kids were a little cranky and sweaty from the heat (I suppose it’s my hypothyroidism that gives me a thermostat of freezing for anything below 75 degrees and comfortable at 80-85 degrees). I was glad the TV was not on constantly and I got some reading done. There was no guilt over chores not done when those chores required electricity.

When the power came on Saturday night the four of us were playing the game of Life by flashlight. I had not looked forward to the possibility of weeks without power: would the kids drink powdered milk?, could we stand a 95 degree day?, would a laundromat be open in a week?, what if the schools opened before our power came back on?… But, I was actually surprised (and initially a little disappointed) that it only lasted 21 hours.

Fridges and dishwashers are wonderful things. Air conditioning is a wonderful thing. TV is a wonderful thing. Soon after my disappointment of last night I realized that I would be able to run the dishwasher and would have brewed rather than instant coffee this morning. I realized I would get to see video of the storm coverage rather than simply listen on radio. But when the power first came on and the family suddenly spread from being together around the kitchen table to the TV, fish tank, computer, etc., it was a little saddening. (We later returned and finished our game.)

One of my favorite books is Hatchet by Gary Paulson [Yes I know it’s for Jr. High boys and that his later stuff has a lot of weird paganism.] Spoiler: after the hero finds the survival pack he realizes “it was a strange feeling, holding the rifle. It somehow removed him from everything around him. Without the rifle he had to fit in, to be part of it all, to understand it and use it-the woods, all of it. With the rifle, suddenly, he didn’t have to know; did not have to be afraid or understand… The rifle changed him, the minute he picked it up, and he wasn’t sure he liked the change very much.” If we’re not careful technology can remove us from dependence on each other and God.

The middle part of Luke 12:48 reads (in the New King James Version) “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required.” That verse used to terrify me. I knew I had been given much, I knew I was not faithful in much. But that was before I really saw the cross of Christ. That was before I latched onto my now favorite verse of Galatians 2:21 (NIV) “I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”

Most of us in Katy have been given much, materially (homes with A/C and TV), politically (freedom of education, speech and worship), safety, health, families, etc. But our real treasure is Christ. We have been given much, let us be grateful and faithful, whether our lesser treasures remain (and are temptations to draw us away from Christ and each other) or are taken away (and is a temptation to become bitter at God).

The CrossPoint service this morning reminded us: Blessed be the name of the Lord, both “in the land that is plentiful” and “in the desert place”.  No matter what, worship.

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The Haus Menagerie

August 23rd, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) Our 12-year-old daughter is at a friend’s slumber party. Her room is far from empty, however. I opened the door and saw the fish tank she wanted for her 5th birthday that has a collection of about 3rd generation guppies from a breeding project she did a few months ago. The family dog followed me in and jumped on her bed, where it tends to sleep when Deanna’s home. But the newest addition to her room is 10 baby quail that hatched a week ago yesterday!

Deanna’s very persistent and makes it hard to say no: she researched quail on Google, walked dogs and babysat to raise the money to pay for the incubator and egg turner and eggs and all and found the best deals on eBay. She recently notified me that she wants to raise a goat with 4-H (Katy ISD supplies the barn!). I can’t help but respect a pre-teen who has graduate-school plans (go to Texas A & M and become a horse vet).  I even sometimes take her jabs about my alma mater of UT.

It seems like just yesterday they were…………..I’m somewhat horrified to find that I’ve become one of those middle-aged moms of tweens with the urge to tell stressed-out parents of toddlers to “enjoy it while they’re little”. So far I mostly resist the urge.  Yesterday Dan and Andrea Hauser had a barbecue for the CrossPoint SevenLakes Set up Crew (you too can help physically build the church some Sunday mornings! They’ll even give you a cool new Crew T-shirt–there are plenty left, just let Dan or Joey know you want to help!) ANYWAY, I got a little teary yesterday when I saw the Hauser’s play room complete with shelves of children’s books, because, though I was a stay-at-home mom until our youngest was 5, I didn’t do it very well.

I’m looking forward to the Life Lesson series on Christian parenting (Games Kids Play). I figure I can miss out on more of the present by living in regret or I can “forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead” (Philippians 3:13). And both ahead and behind and here and now is Jesus.  I believe that the best life can be very simple: love Jesus. That’s not to say that it won’t sometimes be difficult or exhausting or painful but “how to live life?” Simple: love Jesus and learn what He loves and do that, and when we fail, He’s there picking us up and beckoning us on. I think it’s a great life and, by God’s grace, I plan on learning to do that the rest of my days.

We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19, NIV)

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (1 John 4:10, NIV)

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New Year’s Resolutions

August 17th, 2008 Tim

Okay, it’s like 100 degrees, muggy, the kids are about to go back to school, the air-conditioner is panting like a dog, and I’m writing about something we usually think about in December or January. 

One of the nice things about being a teacher (besides summer) is that every year I get to reinvent myself.  The mistakes of last year (not just my students’ but my own) are a thing of the past, I get a new batch of kids and I get to start over.  That’s pretty cool! 

So, it’s usually this time of year that I also come up with a phrase that I use to keep me focused.  A few years ago my phrases were more motivational expressions that stuck with me for a few weeks and were forgotten.  But over the past couple of years I’ve felt compelled to come up with things that help me focus on God.  And they’ve stuck with me and I’ve adapted them as the need arose. 

For example, last year I started off the year with “Image of God.”  I wrote that on a few small pieces of paper and put them in places where I could see them several times during the day like on my computer screen.  It was a constant reminder that we are all made in the image of God, even 14-year-olds who are loud, disrespectful, and unmotivated.  Though hard to see on the outside, we all possess God’s image, and as such, we are all deserving of honor and respect.  And patience!!

That was pretty helpful, but as the year wore on and things became more and frustrating not only with students but also with administration and the state of public education in general,  I changed it to Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”   I even put a shortened version of that verse on my cell phone that shows up whenever I power on. 

This year I’m going to focus on worship.  Of the many things that God has impressed on me since I started going to CrossPoint is the importance of worship.  And while Joey is an awesome worship leader, I’m not referring to that time of worship so much.  As a follower of Jesus, I’m growing in my understanding that worship is not just the 20 minutes Joey leads us in on Sunday, but it is rather the other six days, twenty-three hours and forty minutes that happen the rest of the week.  That’s when real worship happens.  My prhase will be “In all I do…” to help me remember that all I do can and should be made an act of worship.

So when I’m planning a lesson, helping a student understand something, and dealing with a kid who hasn’t seen is dad in six years and was just initiated into a gang and is cussing his head off at me because I’m trying to get him to get to class, that will be worship just as much as singing along to Joey and the band. 

This also includes my time at home, when I’m driving my car, and handling the many tasks that come my way. 

I know most people don’t have jobs that change every year, but every day can be a new day.  Give it a try.  Based on what you’re reading in the Bible, a song Joey sang, or something Dan said in a Life Lesson, find a key word or phrase to help you focus, and then stick with it for several weeks or months. 

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What can wash me white as snow?…

August 13th, 2008 Tim

(Nancy) Sometimes I let my temper rise and spill rotten stuff out of my mouth. I did so last night. I immediately realized that what I’d said (and how I said it) was wrong. I’d like to say that I immediately apologized and asked for forgiveness but I didn’t. But this morning I did.

My previous modus operandi was: sin, feel guilty, withdraw, walk on eggshells, play nice… and start the whole cycle over again.

I’ve gotta say, I much prefer confession (I really messed up and I’m sorry), forgiveness (of God and others) and repentance (turning to walk a different way, by God’s grace) to the eggshell trip.

“When I admonish you to confession, I am admonishing you to be a Christian.” (Martin Luther)

“Christians should be the most brutally honest people on the planet.” “If my righteousness is from Jesus and not me, I don’t lose anything [good] when I repent.”

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. (Psalm 51:7, NIV)

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:22, NIV)

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